


A Gift From the Heart

by HyperKid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: ClayLeb Week 2019, Fluff, Light Smooching, M/M, Mentions of character death (Molly), angsty Caleb thoughts, clayleb week, everything is different with Caduceus, prompt: periapt, soft soft boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 15:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21358567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: Caduceus wonders why Caleb chose him to give the periapt to. Caleb doesn’t exactly know why either.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast, Hint of widomauk, clayleb
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	A Gift From the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Sorry I’m late, my darlings, I am on holiday! But I’m having fun and I have a couple more rocks I’m kicking around for good softest boys.   
Mollymauk: If you have time to work on them.   
HK: Hush you, I’m doing my best! But we’ve met 9 dogs so far and that is almost 1 per day.   
Mollymauk: Now that’s a good use of vacation.   
HK: I’m also posting from the Peacock pub, so you’re here in spirit.   
Mollymauk: ... I’m here in body. Virtually.   
HK: And don’t think we don’t all appreciate it! Not in fic though, cuz they requested no polyNein.   
Mollymauk: Still salty?   
HK: Like a sea breeze. But more because I am apparently deeply offended by word count recommendations? And I did not know this about myself until now.   
Mollymauk: Don’t worry about it, I have trouble counting too.   
HK: ... I love you, but I sometimes am not sure why.   
Mollymauk: You’re a terrible liar. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Caleb is a sad angsty boy 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, but I’m working on my mind control!

“Mister Caleb, I have a question for you.” 

The wizard glanced over, his gaze shifting from the fire to his companion. 

“Ja?” Almost on reflex his tone was guarded, wary of any questions. He settled a little when he saw what Caduceus was doing. 

The firbolg was smiling softly at him, turning the periapt over slowly between his fingers. It didn’t quite seem to be weighing on him, but did lend a bit of a hint to the question. It had a somewhat different effect on Caleb. 

Steeling himself, he turned a little more fully to face the firbolg. 

There were a lot worse things that he had been dreading being asked. But this was... a little more immediate. Recent. Still, he nodded and waited for the question. 

As expected, Caduceus raised the periapt. 

“Why did you give me this? It’s very useful of course, but it seems like something you could use. Or Beau, or Jester. Why me?” He didn’t sound accusing in any way, or anything other than curious. Not even confused. 

Caleb closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the wall of the dome. At least it was the easier version of the question. And for the moment, at least, they didn’t have any witnesses. 

When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet so as not to wake the others. 

“Before we met you... the periapt belonged to a friend. The friend we lost,” he added, glancing up to check that Caduceus was following. He didn’t think the cleric would have interrupted him to check, but it was best to be sure. 

“It did not do much to help him in the end, but it was useful to him. He was... important to me. To all of us.” His voice trailed away, lost in memories. 

After a few minutes, Caduceus nodded gently. 

“And you miss him?” 

The words seemed to startle the wizard as he jumped a little, gaze darting briefly back up to his companion’s face. This one wasn’t the question he was expecting. 

“Ja... I do. I think we all do. But I had held onto the periapt for a while, and it did not bring him back. And I am not usually in the front, as I said. I am in the back so I do not need it as much.” 

To his surprise, Caduceus shook his head. 

“I’m not exactly in the front either, Mister Caleb. But you didn’t offer this to Miss Beau or Mister Fjord, did you?” It sounded like an actual question a lot more than it maybe should have. Caleb felt compelled to answer. 

“Well... no.” 

It hadn’t even occurred to him that one of their other up close people might want the periapt. They’d all passed it over in Pumat’s shop, for one thing. All except Molly. 

Caduceus nodded happily, smiling like he’d had something confirmed. Like it was a piece of the puzzle. 

“So why did you give it to me?” 

Caleb’s eyes fixed themselves on his fingers, twining around each other. He’d asked himself the same question a couple of times, usually in fights where he took a lot of damage. 

A few times after Yasha had been charmed and he’d been kept up only by Jester’s constant attention. 

He hadn’t come up with much of an answer, but he did have something. 

“I think,” he said slowly, watching his fingers twist the ends of this coat sleeves, “in the beginning, I thought that if I gave it to you, you could use it to be more help to me. To us. The group.” He glanced up, not sure what he wanted to see. 

Caduceus was watching him thoughtfully, his head cocked to one side and a slight smile on his face. The same slight smile that was almost always on his face if nothing was particularly taking his attention. Serene, peaceful, watching. 

He didn’t seem offended by the idea that it was a purely utilitarian decision. For a moment, Caleb considered leaving it at that. 

The hesitation was probably his downfall; Caduceus Clay may not be the most insightful, but he was extremely observant. He spotted the pause and one brow rose. 

“In the beginning?” He asked, picking up the qualifier. 

Caleb cleared his throat awkwardly, looking down. 

“I... well. We had almost lost you earlier that day, if you recall. When escaping from the yanti temple?” He glanced up and Caduceus nodded, his smile becoming momentarily strained. 

“I do recall, yes.” 

Nodding back, Caleb squirmed a little. 

“I realized... that I did not want to lose anyone. Ever again. Not another one of my friends but especially... not you.” He glanced up again, gaze flitting across Caduceus’ face and skittering off like to rest there would be dangerous. 

The firbolg said nothing, though. Just watched him with that same gentle half smile. 

It helped. Made it easier to let the words continue to flow. 

“We had not known each other for so long, not really. Since the business with the Iron Shepherds, and our travels from Zadash. But you... became important to me. I suppose we spoke a fair amount while we were at sea. But when you were... when we almost lost you. I knew I could not stomach it if we ever did. So I gave you the periapt.” 

Silence reigned for a while after he finished, and Caleb had to fight the urge to look up once more. He knew what the cleric would be doing. Weighing his words, either with that same soft smile or with a slight frown. 

He didn’t want to know which. 

Part of him still railed against the weakness, the vulnerability of admitting his fears. His need. 

He wasn’t ready for the soft touch of large, furred fingers at the back of his wrist. They startled him enough to actually meet Caduceus’ pink eyes. 

The cleric was smiling at him, but a wholly new expression; soft and warm. Open, somehow. 

“I think I understand, Mister Caleb,” he said gently, with a sincerity that brought a flush to the human’s cheeks. “Thank you.” 

For a moment, Caleb almost leaned away. Drew back from the touch instinctually, closing himself up. Managed to stop himself. 

It was nice to touch. To have that comfort, the point of contact. He was allowed to enjoy it. Even just that realization was like a gentle wave breaking over him, warm and soothing. 

A lot like Caduceus’ whole presence, really. 

He managed a gentle smile in return. Even managed to lean into it a little, and Caduceus responded with a broad smile, moving to sit beside him. Close enough that their legs could touch too, if Caleb moved just a little. 

Fuck it. 

They could all die tomorrow. 

He moved, leaning in to the firbolg’s bulk. Caduceus was a little surprised, but more than happy to wrap an arm around his shoulders. And if Caleb found the ease with which he did that comforting, being tucked up against someone so large, well, he was allowed that too. 

Usually he hated to feel small. Usually it came with feeling vulnerable. 

Caduceus always made him feel safe. And that may have been partly why he was so against the idea of losing him. Not a lot ever made Caleb Widogast feel safe. 

Eyes drifting back to the fire, Caleb leaned in against his cleric. 

“I admire you very much, Mister Clay. The cool, calm way that you handle things... you have done remarkably well on this journey.” It was so easy to talk to him. About anything, really, but about this... yes. It was nice to lay things out in the open. 

He could actually feel the rumble as Caduceus chuckled softly beside him. 

“That’s very kind of you to say, Mister Caleb. I admire you very much as well. You’re a very interesting man.” 

A self deprecating smile tugged its way across Caleb’s lips before he could stop it. Interesting was a kind way to put it in his opinion. But he knew that Caduceus wouldn’t appreciate that line of thinking. 

Instead he nodded, letting more of his weight rest on the firbolg. 

“You keep saying things like that... perhaps some day I will understand why.” That felt more honest. Left the door open for Caduceus’ feelings to have merit, and didn’t put himself down enough for the cleric to comment. 

It was hard to admit even to himself that the others might see him as something more than the manipulative asshole he saw in the mirror. Yet he trusted Caduceus’ judgement in everything else; the man was thoughtful, observant, and wise beyond his years or experience. Calling him wrong would be an insult. 

Caduceus turned just enough to press a soft kiss to Caleb’s temple. 

“I hope you will, Mister Caleb. I would like to see you become more at ease with yourself.” As always, the bastard could damn near read minds. 

A truer smile spread across Caleb’s face at the thought and he glanced up at Caduceus. 

“One day I would also like to understand how you always know what I’m thinking.” 

Caduceus met his gaze, a playful grin dancing on his lips. 

“Do you not prefer a little mystery?” The firbolg teased, his arm tightening just a little around the human. 

Caleb’s instinctive response was no, no he would not prefer mystery, he liked to understand everything. Again though, something made him pause. Clay was... enigmatic. Interesting. And yes, mysterious in a soft, gentle way. 

He was vague about his past and his family in a way Caleb could almost swear was intentional at times, but it didn’t have the same weight of darkness that Caleb’s did. He just... didn’t mind. 

Normally Caleb wouldn’t pry into someone else’s business. He knew more than most that there were often good reasons to let the past remain a secret. It was a little different with Caduceus, though. 

Caleb wanted to know all there was to know about him. To learn every last detail of his life, to take the cleric inside him and make sure part of him was with Caleb always. 

To devour him. 

And Caleb knew all too well what could happen when he got what he wanted. 

Caduceus was still watching him, so he gave the firbolg a gentle smile and nodded. 

“Perhaps in your case I could make an exception.” 

It startled a small laugh from the firbolg, which he stifled quickly, looking over at the sleepers. None stirred, or at least no more than usual. Satisfied, he turned back to Caleb. 

“You make a lot of exceptions for me, Mister Caleb.” There was a tenderness in his voice that lit warmth all through Caleb’s chest. 

Leaning into that warmth, he let his hand trail across Caduceus’ lap and into his other hand. The firbolg was at least a foot and a half taller than he was, which did make it a little obvious to crane up for a kiss. 

“I do, don’t I?” He murmured, eyes tracking across and down to his partner’s lips. “I suppose I find you quite exceptional.” 

To his credit, Caduceus caught on almost at once, bending down to kiss him tenderly. It was almost nothing, a gentle brush of lips. It shouldn’t have made Caleb’s cheeks flush like a school boy, or send warmth pulsing through him. 

It did anyway. 

When Caduceus went to straighten, Caleb followed, curling a hand around the back of his neck to press their lips together once more. Then let him go, a warm smile curling its tendrils around his heart. 

A lot of things were different with Caduceus Clay. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Okay, should be back for Sunday (with any luck, I need a complete rewrite because the tone is All Wrong).


End file.
